Sexuality

Like all things worth having, our sexuality requires work. Hopefully it does not have to feel like labor all the time. Because talking about and being playful with your sexuality can be fun.  Its not always people’s favorite topic to bring up with their partner about sexuality and what they are comfortable with, not, what they’d like to experiment with etc. However knowing these things about your partner, then putting them into experiment (not really practice) with each other

Dr. John Gottman discusses the importance of repair, and repair attempts in relationships (link below). Repair and repair attempts (attempts at mending things between yourself and your partner during or after a conflict) are also vital to physical and sexual intimacy. The common phrase “make up sex” is related to this. I would argue that “make up sex” is a form of repair. It is a tool that can be very powerful, but also can be misused. It can be great when make up sex draws t

In a couples' sexuality will change over time. There are multiple factors to consider as to having and maintaining a mutual sex life you both enjoy. One of them is the meaning of your sex or sexuality.  There are often unspoken messages (sometimes they are spoken too) communicated in a couples sexuality. Some positive examples may be: I am wanted, we are connected, I am ok, I am safe, we are secure together, I’m attractive to my partner. Some examples of less desirable messag

All guys don’t necessarily call their struggles with getting an erection, “erectile dysfunction”. But regardless of what one calls it, for a man not being able to get an erection when he wants can be really difficult. It can impact your mood, self esteem, and your relationship with your partner. When I am working with a guy to understand what some of the contributors may be to struggles with having an erection, we will talk about his use of alcohol. Considering the potential

It is sometimes assumed that if a person takes a PDE5 Inhibitor, they gain an instant erection. PDE5 inhibitors are medications that help support blood flow including to the penis, and therefore support with having an erection. However, there still needs to be stimulation and arousal to be able to have an erection. In other words, taking the medication alone is not sufficient to have an erection. So, no magic pill. But really that is good news. Because that means yourself and

Often men are embarrassed to talk about sexual struggles, including pre-mature ejaculation. Premature ejaculation can cause strain in a couple. And often the more frustrated the couple becomes, the worse the problem. What is premature ejaculation? The American Urological Association describes premature ejaculation as “ Men who ejaculate before or shortly after penetration without a sense of control, and who experience distress…”. The important part of this is that it is causi

There are so many factors that play into a couples sexuality. Here I’ll comment share some ideas on improving the sexuality of longer...

When did sexuality become bad dirty and wrong? Our values and beliefs as people are carried down through generations. And making...