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With the family rebel (child or adult), the anger is often obvious. Maybe its seen through using substances early (teenager) and or to excess. Maybe its punching a hole in the wall, throwing things. Hollering and screaming. Playing music so loud it bleeds through every wall in the house. Risky sexual behaviors. Generally being confrontational or contrarian. Being abusive emotionally or verbally to one’s spouse. However it shows up, the anger is often on the surface for all to

So what happens when only one person’s voice or feelings are heard in a romantic relationship (or at least much more heard than their partner)? Well, things get wonky in the relationship if they weren’t already. This imbalance ends up touching so many if not all of the relationship: the communication, maintaining a living space, child rearing, socially, sexually emotional intimacy etc. And there are a whole host of reasons or situations where one person has lost their voice,

In a fit of anger and hurt and being lost in a trauma vortex after the discovery of her partners infidelity, she told her family about it, his and some of their friends. Her family and friends mostly were pretty shocked, and encouraged her in subtle and not so subtle ways to leave the marriage. She found herself in a bind. As she discovered more info about the affair her partner was having, she did not want to tell her family and friends more, in part because she wasn’t sure

I lead a men’s group by video on Wednesday nights. I use to buy into the idea that women are just more naturally emotionally attuned and aware than men. Women are often the primary care givers for babies and kids. They have seemed to me so much more willing and able to understand and function within the emotional world. Over the years in the therapy room, I have had many experiences with both women and men. Individually, in couples therapy and in groups. What I have learned,

Being able to have a place to speak with other men about sex and sexuality in a plain and casual way helps men reduce their shame. The men’s group is not exclusively about sexuality, but the topic does often arise. Of course talking in healthy ways about sex can be done in an individual therapy session. And it has the potential to be greatly helpful and shame reducing there as well. But there is something about the power of the group, that adds another element to the healing

Premature Ejaculation can be really frustrating and embarrassing for the man experiencing it. It can also be frustrating for his partners as well. There are a number of common and helpful interventions for Premature Ejaculation (PE). Whatever the intervention one uses, talking with your partner about your sexuality and time to ejaculate will be important to do as well. Some common practices that can help to address premature ejaculation include: the start stop method, squeez

What we have is now. I believe all of us have likely felt like a failure, or felt that we have failed at some point in our lives. The magnitude of the perceived failure tends to relate to how much we beat ourselves up about it. And this can make it difficult to get the distance from it and perspective we need to heal and grow. Failure can be so sticky. It calls you back just when you start to crawl your way out of feeling bad about it. Yet somehow these iterations of crawling