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Failure Is The Unpleasant Wrapper Around A Fresh Picked Growth Opportunity
What we have is now. I believe all of us have likely felt like a failure, or felt that we have failed at some point in our lives. Depending on the magnitude of the perceived failure, relates often to how much we beat ourselves up about it, and have difficulty getting the distance from it and perspective we need to heal and grow. Failure can be so sticky. It calls you back just when you start to crawl your way out of feeling bad about it. Yet somehow these iterations of crawli
restorecounselingAZ
6 days ago
Making Make Up Sex Work For You And Your Partner
Dr. John Gottman discusses the importance of repair, and repair attempts in relationships (link below). Repair and repair attempts (attempts at mending things between yourself and your partner during or after a conflict) are also vital to physical and sexual intimacy. The common phrase “make up sex” is related to this. I would argue that “make up sex” is a form of repair. It is a tool that can be very powerful, but also can be misused. It can be powerful when make up sex draw
restorecounselingAZ
Dec 12
The Meaning Of Sex
In a long term couple as with most things, a couples sexuality changes over time. There are multiple factors to consider as to having and maintaining a mutual sex life you both enjoy. One of them is the meaning of your sex or sexuality. There are often unspoken messages (sometimes they are spoken too) communicated in a couples sexuality. Some positive examples may be: I am wanted, we are connected, I am ok, I am safe, we are secure together, I’m attractive to my partner. Som
restorecounselingAZ
Dec 8
Erectile Dysfunction and Alcohol
All guys don’t necessarily call their struggles with getting an erection, “erectile dysfunction”. But regardless of what one calls it, for a man not being able to get an erection when he wants can be really difficult. It can impact your mood, self esteem, and your relationship with your partner. When I am working with a guy to understand what some of the contributors may be to struggles with having an erection, we will talk about his use of alcohol. Considering the potential
restorecounselingAZ
Nov 12
Must We Fight? Sometimes, We Must (Bonding Through Conflict)
I once thought it’d be great if people never fought or argued. I believed that until I realized that we need those conflicts, confrontations, squabbles etc. to bring us closer to each other. This is in pretty much any kind of relationship. Obviously, what the conflict looks like would be different depending on the type of relationship. Having it out with someone, letting them know where you stand and them letting you know where they stand is important to the longer term cour
restorecounselingAZ
Nov 5
Yes- Viagra and Cialis- But There Still Needs To Be Stimulation!
It is sometimes assumed that if a person takes a PDE5 Inhibitor, they gain an instant erection. PDE5 inhibitors are medications that help support blood flow including to the penis, and therefore support with having an erection. However, there still needs to be stimulation and arousal to be able to have an erection. In other words, taking the medication alone is not sufficient to have an erection. So, no magic pill. But really that is good news. Because that means yourself and
restorecounselingAZ
Nov 3
My Child Won’t Listen! But It Might Be A Parenting Issue
Oh man, so frustrating when my son does that. Or, why does she have to talk back like that? Don’t they know how annoying it is when I’ve asked them 7 times already to do something, and they off doing something else as if I haven’t said a word? They’re just not listening. Yes frustrating. Yes annoying, aggravating. And, I would say, part of the joys of parenting. I think as parents its normal to be overwhelmed, which- welcome to being a person. But also I think parents can ta
restorecounselingAZ
Oct 31
Serenity Prayer
Just a brief reminder of the benefit to working towards accepting the things we cannot change. The serenity prayer holds a simple but powerful message regardless of one's faith position. What are you working on accepting today?
restorecounselingAZ
Oct 24
Premature Ejaculation
Often men are embarrassed to talk about sexual struggles, including pre-mature ejaculation. Premature ejaculation can cause strain in a couple. And often the more frustrated the couple becomes, the worse the problem. What is premature ejaculation? The American Urological Association describes premature ejaculation as “ Men who ejaculate before or shortly after penetration without a sense of control, and who experience distress…”. The important part of this is that it is causi
restorecounselingAZ
Oct 15
To Be Understood (Teens and Anger)
When I listen to a teen who has struggled with rage, impulsivity or both-one of the most important things for them to know is that they are understood. And that their feelings are valid, even if the behavior wasn’t. As a parent or someone who works with teens it can be easy to slip into a confrontational posture, and be incensed at what would appear to be an obvious and knowing manipulation tactic, blame, outburst, act of violence, deceit etc. on the part of the teen. Dependi
restorecounselingAZ
Sep 26
At times we put our past trauma on our loved ones
When we are hurt, at times we revert back to self protection. When we do this, it can come out in a way that is hurtful to others, and...
restorecounselingAZ
Sep 19
I Don't Always Have The Answer (But You Might).
I sometimes feel as a therapist I am supposed to have all the answers. I've sat across from clients who've asked me "why did I do that?",...
restorecounselingAZ
Sep 16
What Looks Like Anger, May Be Shame
Social acceptance, family acceptance, cultural acceptance. Here are three really important contexts to be accepted in that have an impact...
restorecounselingAZ
Sep 10
Therapy With Teen Males (Its About Trust)
I have worked with teen males in therapy over the years. I really enjoy this work. In this bridge between childhood and adulthood there...
restorecounselingAZ
Sep 2
To The Provider of The House: Take Care Of Thine Self, Too
There are different arrangements, roles and responsibilities we create in our family and romantic relationships. There are many families...
restorecounselingAZ
Aug 22
Slippin Again. Maybe.
Back to negative habits. Gosh darn. therapy isn’t working (FALSE!) Don’t get sucked into the common mistruth that therapy (and more...
restorecounselingAZ
Aug 20
Damn the check ins.
So you don’t want to do the daily check ins with each other. Or communication exercises. Ok. And how is your communication and overall...
restorecounselingAZ
Aug 15
Let me cry then.
There is all this forward motion and progressive movement in our culture towards letting people be who they are, feel their emotions etc....
restorecounselingAZ
Aug 12
If you’re sex life is important, then act like it (and have fun while you’re doing it!:)
There are so many factors that play into a couples sexuality. Here I’ll comment share some ideas on improving the sexuality of longer...
restorecounselingAZ
Aug 3
After You Beat Yourself Up, Try The Kindness Thing. It Helps.
Just a brief reminder to be kind to yourself. And being kind to yourself is an imperfect practice. Being kind all the time to yourself...
restorecounselingAZ
Jul 25
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