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Does More Closeness Mean Better Intimacy?

When we use the word “intimacy” there can be an assumption of the closer the better. But there are limits, and having too much closeness is too much. It can be helpful to think of a range of proximity. That within that range is the sweet spot for what the person feels would be an ideal amount of physical and emotional closeness to others. Certainly this would depend on the relationship, closer for some and more distance for others. And for a different person this arrangement or desired physical emotional closeness would look different.

The work of two people is to negotiate what works for them both. A successful relationship has both people reasonably satisfied with the fluctuating proximity between them. And some degree of confidence that they can continue to work together to stay within that range of proximity. The discrepancy in desire for different kinds of closeness in a relationship, is common and can cause a good amount of tension and distress. Depending on what the two of you decide, having a couples therapist or third party to support you both in working through this can be helpful

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