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Giving but not Receiving

Giving but not receiving is often a form of invulnerability. Invulnerability is just another way of saying a person is protecting his or herself from others. Some examples of giving but not receiving include: not asking for help yet being eager to help someone else, not sharing your feelings but being willing to listen to another’s, not allowing yourself to cry in front of others but comforting others as they weep, always insisting on paying for someone else's meal at a restaurant, having a hard time accepting gifts or compliments but being free flowing with giving these to others. I have found that giving but struggling with receiving is usually connected with experience(s) of feeling let down by others. So the person may choose to love, give or share from behind a wall where it is difficult to give back to them.

It can be tough being in relation with someone who will not accept and gives only. If the person is willing, here is a place to start with a therapist: looking at some of those experiences where they felt let down, and acknowledging their feelings of disappointment and hurt. Once the person has worked on this enough, there are chances for them to have corrective experiences by working on accepting, allowing others to show up for them, managing disappointment/hurt, and saying how they feel when they are let down. All this is easier said than done. It does take time, surrounding oneself with good people, and the willingness to be uncomfortable as the change takes root.

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