Is doing what you're partner asked you to work on, a thankless task?

Its kind of a thing. Your partner exasperated with some behavior(s) that you do, asked you to really work on this. To make active steps towards changing. This could be seemingly smaller things like leaving the milk out, not cleaning up after yourself, making tone deaf jokes in company. It could be larger things like addiction or infidelity

. Whatever the case, have you gotten this request from your partner, began diligently working on this- all for them to notice no difference at all? Then you sit down with yourself and have a small talk- "Look, if their not noticing all the effort I am putting in, whats the point?". Also known as a case of the screw its. Otherwise known as a case of the (word rhymes with duck, starts with f) its.

So the reason you're putting in all that effort isn't seen or validated you reason, so why do it? Well, a few things to consider. Depending on the behavior and your motivation outside of improving the relationship with your partner, there may be other reasons to continue working on said issue. This behavior that annoys your partner, may also annoy/impact others negatively, and therefore at least some of your other relationships. But this also may be a thing you know you need to improve for yourself too to be a better person. If thats the case, it can be tougher without outside validation to continue to improve yourself in this area. However this brings up- what is your relationship with yourself? Does it matter if you feel better about your behaviors, and or are living more in alignment with your own values? How good or not so good are you at taking feedback from others, and when useful- really working on an area of struggle?

Its kind of a thing in coupleship when we have long term behaviors, for our partner to not notice or be slower to notice our efforts than we'd like. Because frankly they got their own life going on, and sometimes it's way easier to notice when something is wrong or annoying/stands out, verses when things are going along smoothly. So maybe don't just attribute this to your partner only. And then, if the change you are working on is important to you, finding some way of taking ownership of it and not waiting as much for the pat on the back, might help you on your way to change.