I'm doing what you asked me to work on. But you don't notice. What's the point?

Its kind of a thing. Your partner exasperated with some behavior that you do, asked you to really work on that behavior. Your partner said they want you to make active steps towards changing. This could be seemingly smaller things like putting the milk back when you're done using it, cleaning up after yourself, or not making tone deaf jokes in company. It could also be larger things like addiction or infidelity.

Whatever the case, have you gotten this request from your partner, began diligently working on this- all for them to not notice? Then you sit down with yourself and have a small talk- "Look, if they are not noticing all the effort I am putting in, whats the point?". Also known as a case of the "screw its".

So the reason you're putting in all that effort isn't seen or validated, so why do it? Well, a few things to consider. Depending on the behavior and your motivation outside of improving the relationship with your partner, there may be other reasons to continue working on said issue. This behavior that annoys your partner, may also annoy/impact others negatively, and therefore at least some of your other relationships. But this also may be something you need to improve just to be a better person. At times it can be tougher without outside validation, to continue to improve yourself. However this brings up some questions such as: What is your relationship with yourself? Does it matter if you feel better about your behaviors, and or are living more in alignment with your own values? How willing are you to allow others to point out blind spots you may have? How good or not so good are you at taking feedback from others, and really working on an area of struggle?

It's kind of a thing in coupleship when we have long term behaviors, for our partner to be slower to notice our efforts than we'd like. Because frankly they have their own life going on. And sometimes it's way easier to notice when something is wrong or annoying, compared with when things are going along smoothly. So maybe don't just attribute this to your partner only. And, if the change you are working on is important to you, consider finding a way of taking ownership of it. That might help you on your way to change.