Returning From The Isle Of Avoidance

I avoid. And, damn it feels good sometimes. Like that thing I’m supposed to face, that I don’t really want to face? Insert convincing messaging about why I don’t need to do that right now. And, done! Chilling on the isle of avoidance for another ___ (fill in amount of time here). 

Using this special avoidance power, tends to feed on itself. The more we use it as a strategy to deal with and lower our anxiety, the more it seems like a natural response, resource. And the more it becomes ingrained in us as a way to engage- or rather, disengage with the world. Sometimes its good for us to disengage. I believe we can’t have the right kinds of connection, without carefully choosing as well how, when where to disengage. There is a good amount of subjectivity with this. 

But we can ask ourselves: am I avoiding this thing mostly to lessen my immediate stress, and what is the mid to longer term ramification to my doing so? Its also incredibly useful to (maybe more than asking ourselves at times) to bounce it off a friend, trusted family member, therapist etc. Because we can’t have a careful consideration when we are missing vital pieces of the picture. Or are so adept at fooling ourselves that our thoughts and belief become a vacuum. Really talking to trusted others and self reflection on an ongoing basis is best practice. 

If I find

I am mostly avoiding to cope and the consequences of me not really addressing the issue are great to myself and others- its time to address it. For the most part, no better time than now. And the tough part is addressing whatever the issue is doesn’t always resolve right then. Or that day, week, or sometimes that year.

It helps when we can expect to grapple with certain problem situations for extended periods of time. And to know that we are investing in a longer term benefit for others and ourselves. Some people are actually really good at it, and tend to be longer term, future and goal oriented. Whatever your skill level at this, choosing to engage with honesty and sincere effort is a good place to start. And for me, its also very helpful to practice giving up what I don’t control to something greater.