After You Beat Yourself Up, Try The Kindness Thing. It Helps.

Just a brief reminder to be kind to yourself. And being kind to yourself is an imperfect practice. Being kind all the time to yourself and others I don't believe is a realistic goal. I do think the vast majority of us have a pretty experienced self critic, who pops up at some frequency depending on who we are and where we are in our particular life station. Sometimes we beat ourselves up because we're beating ourselves up. If we can, we'll work to try not to criticize ourselves because we are having a hard moment. The practice of noticing we are not relating well to ourselves, and making the decision at some point to begin to say "wow, I'm doing a number on myself" is helpful. And to be able to acknowledge to ourselves that this is part of a hard but familiar cycle most of us know well.  By creating a little distance from this internal process, and seeing it more from outside of it can buy us some perspective. The perspective can help us to settle and calm sooner, and not buy into the self criticizing messages as easily. And the process of gaining this perspective may not be only thinking or self affirmation. It may be talking things out with a friend or trusted person. It might be done by going for a walk, playing the drums, moving your body in different ways (yoga is great!). It might be having a quiet moment- whatever helps you to settle. This is all part of the larger movement towards being more comfortable in your own skin, and working with both the struggle and strengths we have currently. You deserve it.